


Safe and Sound

by suallenparker



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Nightmares, Philinda - Freeform, Philinda Secret Summer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-02-04 06:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1768639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suallenparker/pseuds/suallenparker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Melinda May gets confronted with her greatest fear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe and Sound

Melinda May pointed a gun at the man she loved.

The walls were covered with elliptical patterns scratched into the concrete. Phil was yelling about the big plan and how it all connected. But he wasn’t really Phil anymore. And it was time. She had her orders.

He had attacked her first. Had punched her liver as soon as she had entered the storage space. He had punched at her again and again, quietly explaining to her while he had to do this, how she needed to be eliminated. How she had disappointed him. How she had betrayed him.

She had blocked his punches. Most of them. Then she had pushed back.

Now he was lying on the ground. And she pulled the trigger.

He looked the shocked when the bullet penetrated his brain. It killed him instantly. It killed her, too. She dropped to her knees, closed her eyes and cried.

Somebody stroked away her tears with gentle hands.

“You’re safe,” they said. “It’s all in your mind. You’re safe.” They kissed her forehead. “You’re safe. Open your eyes. It’s okay.”

Melinda blinked. Phil. He looked so worried. His hands cradled her face and his thumbs brushed the tears away that kept streaming down.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

She didn’t feel safe. She felt drained, exhausted and desperate. She blinked again, trying to assess the situation. Rolled into a ball, she was lying sideways on the couch in his office. He was kneeling next to her. A blanket covered her. She must’ve fallen asleep over these damn T.A.H.I.T.I files Fury had left for them at their new station. Tonight they had been going through them for the hundredth time, looking for help. Anything.

He looked so very worried. But it was so very, very good to see him. She wanted so much just to throw her arms around him and hold him until he’d promise her everything would be alright. Childish. Silly.

He was already drawing these damn patterns and they didn’t know what they meant. He didn’t know either. Fitz was in a coma, Ward was their prisoner and Simmons couldn’t find any solutions.

Nothing would be alright. Nothing.

She took a breath and lifted her head. He pulled away his left hand and moved his right to her shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” She avoided his gaze. Looking at him like this only made her miss him more. She’d miss him so much. But he was still here and he needed her and she needed to pull herself together. She swallowed. “I’m awake now.”

“No need to apologize,” he said softly and squeezed her shoulder. “Would you like–“

“No.”

“Melinda, please …”

She sat up and his hand glided down her arm. “Can we just work?” she asked, turning her face away from him.

“You’re crying.”

True. Damn it. She wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. “I’ll stop.”

He sighed and let go of her shoulder just to pull out a handkerchief out of his suit jacket. Because of course Phil Coulson carried around old fashioned cotton handkerchiefs in his suit. He handed it to her and she looked at his hands. He had such wonderful hands.

“It’s late,” he said. “We both should get some more sleep.”

She dried her face. The handkerchief smelled of him. “I can’t.”

“Just please.” He sighed and rubbed over her arm. “Tell me –“

She crumbled the handkerchief in her hands. “I can’t take you out,” she whispered. “I can’t.”

“Oh, love!” He stretched and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest.

Taking a breath, she allowed herself to give in. She buried her face in the crook of his shoulder, put her arms around his waist and held on to him.

He rubbed his hands over her her back. They stayed like that for a long while. He tried to pull away, but she tightened her grip. She wasn’t ready to let go. She’d never be.

“My knees hurt,” he said.

She nuzzled against him. “Please …” She knew she was clingy but he had hugged her first and she just needed him so damn much.

“Scoot,” he said. She heard the smile in his voice. Together they moved until they sat nestled against each other on the couch.

His left arm rested around her shoulders holding her against him. Her head rested on his chest underneath his chin. She could hear his heart beat strong and steady. They were holding hands, their fingers entwined. She could find peace like that. The last time they had been this physically close had been after Bahrain. She had suffered nightmares then, too. And he had held her. Whenever she had felt like she was falling apart, he had held her together.

“You won’t have to take me out,” he whispered.

She lifted her head to look at him.

“I have my own gun,” he said quietly.

“Won’t matter if you go insane.”

“Trip could do it.”

“I’d kill him for that.”

“Please …”

“I’ll do it.” She leaned against him again. First off, she needed the contact and secondly, she couldn’t bare looking at him. “I can’t allow anybody else to do that. I’m your friend. I’ll do it.” And she would kill the person that would take him from her. She would. She couldn’t be rational about this.

He sighed and buried his face in her hair. They stayed like this for a while. Both just breathing. It felt like the eye of the storm.

Then she turned her head again to look at him. “Did you call me ‘love’?”

“Will you break my arm if I say yes?”

She chuckled. He could always make her laugh. Always. This hurt so damn much. He probably saw it on her face, because he rubbed her back.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“For what?”

“For not being able to give guarantees?”

“Not your fault.”

He sighed. “I hate worrying you.”

“I shouldn’t have told you. You’ve got enough burdens to carry.” Melinda pressed her lips together.

He shook his head. “Please don’t pity me.”

Pity him? “I love you.” The words were out before she could bite her tongue.

His eyes widened and he opened his mouth, but nothing came out. She wondered if he’d push her away again like he had done the last time she had admitted her feelings. But things are different now. She might lose him, might lose his friendship.

He squeezed her hand before he let go of it and caressed her hair. His gaze jumped from her lips to her eyes. Melinda took a breath. Her heart raced. When he tilted his head and leaned into her, her eyes fell shut. He gently brushed his lips against hers, be fore he pulled away. Sighing, she opened her eyes to find him looking at her, waiting. She licked her lips. She wanted him to kiss her again. She wanted to taste him.

He leaned into her again and she tilted her head to capture his lips with hers. This time he sighed. His hand closed around her nape, no pressure, just touching. She moved her body around until she straddled him while he kissed her again and again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and just took it all in. This felt so good. His hands caressed her back, her sides, her thighs.

Then he broke away from her mouth. For a second she was scared, but he leaned her forehead against hers, his hands still caressing her.

“I love you, too” he said and kissed her again.

For now it was enough.


End file.
